We all have difficulties sometimes. Even those around us who seem to be happy and motivated and “all together” still have challenges from time to time.
WHAT IS YOUR STRUGGLE?
Not enough money?
Health or weight issues?
A loss that has left you deep in pain?
Are you lonely?
Do you worry constantly about the future — or the past?
Are you not fulfilling your life’s purpose?
WHAT IS YOUR STRUGGLE?
Is it an addiction?
Domestic violence?
A spiritual crisis?
All of the above?
WHAT IS YOUR STRUGGLE?
If you could, what one thing would you like to change right now?
How would that change make a difference in your life?
Why have you not been able to accomplish that change before now?
THE HARDEST WAY
According to Webster’s, one definition of the word “struggle” is “to make one’s way with difficulty.” Of course, we don’t deliberately set out to make our way with difficulty, but somehow, we get the idea that struggle equates to future success. It does not. Struggle only begets more struggle.
Many people go through their entire lives “making their way with difficulty.” Just because we face difficult situations does not mean we have to choose the hardest way possible to face them! That’s what struggle is — the hardest way.
A LOSING BATTLE
Another definition of “struggle” is “to contend or fight violently with an opponent.”
We think we are fighting against a “problem,” be it loneliness, lack of money, junk food, abuse, or whatever. Often, what we are really fighting against is our own self!
No matter how much we try to be our best, we tend to focus on our faults and shortcomings. We refuse to forgive ourselves for our mistakes. We judge ourselves unworthy to have the kind of life we want. We feel undeserving of the good things we see other people enjoying.
We become our own enemy, in a sense, defeating ourself from within. That is the real struggle. And this kind of self-sabotage keeps us in a vicious cycle of struggle.
No wonder we don’t seem to make any progress. No wonder we just end up feeling worse and worse about ourselves. As long as we struggle, we always come out on the losing side!
The Law of Attraction says that what we see is what we get. In other words, whatever we focus on is what we get more of. We think that if we struggle enough, somehow that will lead to success in solving our problems. But all it does is lead us into more struggle.
We never seem to win, because struggle is a losing battle.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Yuck!
WHY DO WE STRUGGLE?
So much of our energy goes into dealing with our problems. That’s just part of life. But not everyone struggles. And whether of not a person struggles has little or nothing to do with how many challenges they face.
We all know people who seem to have more than their share of difficulties, yet are able to experience their life as beautiful and joyful. However, many of us never seem to be happy no matter how much we have going for us. We struggle to get through an ordinary day, seemingly unaware of all we have to be grateful for. Happiness is always just beyond our reach.
Why? Why do we struggle through life if we don’t need to? We can think of lots of “reasons,” can’t we?
- our parents always struggled
- low self-esteem
- childhood trauma
- we are supposed to struggle (“no pain, no gain,” right?)
- karma
. . . . and the list goes on and on.
Unfortunately, the “WHY” list doesn’t do much to help us. It only gives us excuses for staying locked in struggles, often for a lifetime.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Yuck!
Anyhow, who cares about “why?” The most important question is ….
WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT OUR STRUGGLES NOW?
If struggle is a losing battle, if it’s the hardest way, then what can we do differently? And how can we ever get ahead?
To win, we must give up the losing battle. We must give up “the hardest way.” To be happy, we must give up the fight against ourselves and put an end to the struggle.
When I was much younger, I thought that my life would be so much happier as soon as whatever difficult situation happening at the time was past. The only thing was, each time one such situation was resolved, something else would take its place, pushing my future “happy life” further and further away, or so I thought.
Finally, one day, it dawned on me that I could have “problems,” “challenges,” and difficulties” and still be happy — right smack-dab in the middle of it all! Even while dealing with those events and situations that sometimes arise just because we are human, I could still be happy — and I didn’t have to wait any longer!
SPEAKING OF PERFECTION . . . .
A perfect life is not a requirement for happiness. On the contrary, to expect perfection of ourself or our life is to engage in yet another losing battle. There is no perfect life, only authentic life. To put our happiness on hold until everything lines up perfectly is to rob ourselves of our precious time here on Earth.
Does that mean we have to give in to problems or put up with conditions we don’t want in our life? No, not at all. What it means is that we care about ourselves enough to take care of ourselves. It means we ask for and accept help from others. It means we start allowing our true self, the core of our being, to show us the happiness and joy that is already within us.
When we wait for our happiness to arrive, it never does. Happiness is not something to look for or wait for — it’s something to enjoy right now, no matter what circumstances surround us.
WE WERE NOT MEANT TO STRUGGLE!
If we were not meant to struggle, what do we do instead? And how can we start just being happy? Simply by changing the words we tell ourselves. We can choose to live and think in a way that is much more satisfying and productive — a way that builds us up instead of tearing us down.
If we are created in the image of God (and I believe we are), then let’s start acting like it. Let’s start treating ourselves the same way a loving God treats His creations, beginning with the way we talk to ourselves.
In the same way the Law of Attraction works against us when we struggle and react negatively, it works in our favor when we think and act in a positive way. When we start telling ourselves that we are worthy of a great life, that we are willing to be our best self, and that we are thankful for all our blessings, those are the things of which we invite more of into our life.
No matter how silly it may feel, stand in front of a mirror every morning and tell yourself the following words. Say them over and over every day until you come to believe them. Really believe them. Before long, you will find the truth of these words reflected in every aspect of your life in your life — and they will change your life for good!
- I AM WORTHY OF LOVE AND JOY
- I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY, HEALTHY, AND PROSPEROUS
- I AM WILLING TO ACCEPT THE GREATNESS OF WHO I AM
- I AM DEEPLY GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE
Only when we give up the struggle and begin to truly believe these things can we go forward and experience what it is to be our best selves, making better choices, asking for help when we need it, and living the best life we can live.
Have a beautiful day.
Carol
Copyright 2007 Carol Stewart and Licensors. All rights reserved.
What you wrote about are a lot of the things I’ve been dealing with this past year. I have not read The Law of Attraction…yet. I have read a book called “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz which is very powerful. Thank you for your wonderful words. If only more people would actually believe things like this, the world would be a much happier place. Keep it up! I love you!
Mary
Thanks, Mary, for YOUR wonderful words! BTW, when I mentioned the Law of Attraction, I was not referring to a particular book, although there are many great books on that subject. The Law of Attraction is more like a rule or a principle. Sayings such as “like attracts like,” “what you see is what you get,” and “what goes around comes around” are some of the way we express the idea behind the Law of Attraction.
Carol, your philosophy on life is a real inspiration to apply in my life, which I’ll be referring to. With just a little effort your suggestions can have a genuine affect on others of your reading audience! Thanks for so much sharing.
I’ll say it again . . . My reason for sharing these ideas is to help myself remember them. Thanks for reading!